People who are still banging rocks together

Conversati0n I had at work a little while ago on the phone:

Time: 2:30 AM


Me: Hi, is this Mrs ***

Mrs ***: Speaking

Me: I got the voice message you left half an hour ago regarding an emergency with your budgie?

Mrs ***: Yes, sweetums is not acting herself. I'm afraid she might die. I need to see the Dr _ right away!

Me: Well, I'm afraid Dr. _ is at home sleeping at the moment. She will be in again at 9am, I can fit you in for the first appointment tomorrow.

Mrs ***: No, no, I need to see someone right away, I'm so worried.

Me: Why don't you take your bird to the __ Animal Emergency Clinic.

Mrs. ****: No, it's $200 just to get in. I don't want to pay that. I need to see Dr. _

Me: Ok, I'll just write you into the schedule...

Mrs ***: I can't wait till tomorrow, my bird might die!!

Me: Can you describe what your bird is doing?

Mrs ***: She's off. She's tired and just behaving strangely. What if she has a seizure?

Me: Is she fluffed up?

Mrs ***: No

Me: Does she have open mouth breathing?

Mrs ***: No

Me: Does she have blood or undigested food in her droppings?

Mrs ***: No! I need to see Dr _

Me: Dr _ is sleeping at the moment. She works 6 days a week and can't come in during the middle of the night It looks like your bird is ok to come in tomorrow morning. If your bird starts to seizure.....

Mrs ***: (not listening) My bird might die! I need to come in now!! Call Dr. _!

Me: If your bird starts to seizure, take him to the _ Animal Emergency Clinic.

Mrs ***: Thats 40 minutes away! I need to see Dr _ (the _ Animal Emergency Clinic is 5 mins away from the hospital I'm working at)

Me: You can also go to _ 24 hour hospital, I think that might be closer. Let me give you their #

Mrs ***: No, I demand you call Dr _ now, or you'll be responsible if my bird dies! I can't believe you won't help me. If my bird dies it will be your fault!

Me: If you're that worried about your bird, then take her to the emergency clinic.

Mrs ***: No! Call Dr. _ or I'll get you fired.

Me: Beleive me, if I call Dr _ at this hour I WILL get fired.

Mrs ***: So you're not going to call her?

Me: No. I've scheduled you in for a 9 AM appointment tommorrow morning.

Mrs *** ....... I can't make it, I have to work. Do you have anything on Saturday?

Me: *Head to Desk*