People who are still banging rocks together

Conversati0n I had at work a little while ago on the phone:

Time: 2:30 AM


Me: Hi, is this Mrs ***

Mrs ***: Speaking

Me: I got the voice message you left half an hour ago regarding an emergency with your budgie?

Mrs ***: Yes, sweetums is not acting herself. I'm afraid she might die. I need to see the Dr _ right away!

Me: Well, I'm afraid Dr. _ is at home sleeping at the moment. She will be in again at 9am, I can fit you in for the first appointment tomorrow.

Mrs ***: No, no, I need to see someone right away, I'm so worried.

Me: Why don't you take your bird to the __ Animal Emergency Clinic.

Mrs. ****: No, it's $200 just to get in. I don't want to pay that. I need to see Dr. _

Me: Ok, I'll just write you into the schedule...

Mrs ***: I can't wait till tomorrow, my bird might die!!

Me: Can you describe what your bird is doing?

Mrs ***: She's off. She's tired and just behaving strangely. What if she has a seizure?

Me: Is she fluffed up?

Mrs ***: No

Me: Does she have open mouth breathing?

Mrs ***: No

Me: Does she have blood or undigested food in her droppings?

Mrs ***: No! I need to see Dr _

Me: Dr _ is sleeping at the moment. She works 6 days a week and can't come in during the middle of the night It looks like your bird is ok to come in tomorrow morning. If your bird starts to seizure.....

Mrs ***: (not listening) My bird might die! I need to come in now!! Call Dr. _!

Me: If your bird starts to seizure, take him to the _ Animal Emergency Clinic.

Mrs ***: Thats 40 minutes away! I need to see Dr _ (the _ Animal Emergency Clinic is 5 mins away from the hospital I'm working at)

Me: You can also go to _ 24 hour hospital, I think that might be closer. Let me give you their #

Mrs ***: No, I demand you call Dr _ now, or you'll be responsible if my bird dies! I can't believe you won't help me. If my bird dies it will be your fault!

Me: If you're that worried about your bird, then take her to the emergency clinic.

Mrs ***: No! Call Dr. _ or I'll get you fired.

Me: Beleive me, if I call Dr _ at this hour I WILL get fired.

Mrs ***: So you're not going to call her?

Me: No. I've scheduled you in for a 9 AM appointment tommorrow morning.

Mrs *** ....... I can't make it, I have to work. Do you have anything on Saturday?

Me: *Head to Desk*

West coast weather, work, and a new kitten

Today is the sort of day where in a logical world only a raving idiot would move further than three feet from their doorstep. And even then, said idiot would only venture that far if properly equiped with gumboots, umbrellla, raincoat, rainpants, a flask of hot coffee, and a dire family emergency occuring right there on the soggy pavement.

Of course, the world being the irritatingly irrational place it is, we actually have to squelch our way to work. And I do mean squelch. Thanks to a freak two weeks of snow followed by a torrential downpour of rain you can't walk two steps without sinking into 6 inches of icy slush. Let's hope it all runs off in a few days.

I currently work as a VeterinaryAssistant at two different clinics. "Veterinary Assistant" is a rather ambitious term. A more accurate description would be "clinic-slave,-scapegoat-and-cleaner-up-of-all-things-foul". Don't get me wrong, I actually love MOST of my job. In fact, I'm quite happy to spend 75% of my time cleaning up unmentionables, wiping dogs bottoms, washing floors and cleaning litter boxes, because the other 25% is pretty wonderful. I love administering medications, playing with boarding dogs, brushing cats and grooming the animals. And really, I couldn't work in any other environment. The only thing I dislike is being so low on the office hierarchy, I spend a lot of time either being ignored, micromanaged or talked to as if I took the special bus to school. Ah well, it can't be like this forever.

In other news, I adopted a kitten. She is currently nameless as my husband and I can't stop arguing about it. I favour Zuma or Trillian, he prefers Cat-thulhu or Mewsollini. If we don't decide soon "that damn kitten" is going to stick